Every year at work I have to write a self-evaluation of what I did throughout the year, and boy do I dread it every time!! My first thought is always, I didn’t do anything, I didn’t accomplish much, or I didn’t do what I wanted. So of course I leave it for a few days hoping that I will have come up with something and before I know it, it’s due! Now I really have to force myself to go back all the way to January and remember conversations, projects, look at emails and try to remind myself of what I was a part of that made a difference. These evaluations matter too. They actually have value to my career and advancement.
Maybe it’s just me, but I am no good at talking about myself or promoting myself. I always discount the small stuff and focus on the negative. As women I feel like our first inclination is to think we didn’t do much, or we focus on the things that went wrong. And for me, even if I know I have a win, I self sabotage my thinking and find something negative to say about my success. I could have done this better or I should have done that, or if this didn’t happen then I would have done this. Why?!
I read a book this year by Julianna Zobrist (her husband plays for the Chicago Cubs), Pull it Off and she talks about not letting people should on you (clever play on words). We as women don’t give ourselves enough credit on what we are doing in life and we need to not should on ourselves. We don’t take the time to actually celebrate the successes. And we sure don’t think that our accomplishments are even worth celebrating. We need to praise ourselves and its hard sometimes! We are trying to live up to standards that no one created for us but ourselves. We always want to blame it on this world with the media and the many other outlets we have. Yes, those are there to distract us, but we are the ones who decide what the standard is for us to live by. All God has asked us to do is to live by His standards and nothing more (Romans 12:2).
So, how was your year? Look I know that some years are just crappy. But even in the years, the months or the days when we felt like we were sinking there usually is some light or beauty that came from that. If we allow ourselves to reflect we will learn something about what happened and who we are. My challenge to you before you set your goals, resolutions or whatever it is you do for the upcoming year, praise yourself! Write it down, and reflect back on it the next time you feel un-accomplished or not as worthy.
Maybe you had an amazing year, full of blessings and abundance. Congratulations! I am happy for you. Maybe you survived one of your hardest years. Guess what, you’re still standing and you are incredibly strong for walking through that. If you feel like you had a ‘meh’ year (I think of The Emoji movie). Nothing grand happened and nothing terrible went wrong but you feel like you wasted your time. Turn it around. Did you get up everyday? And maybe this allows you to set a goal or desire for the next year. I use to always feel this way about my years. Then I started setting some goals. Small ones (I am the queen of over thinking and over complicating things). Let them be simple. Trust me. I looked at what I wrote down for last year and only truly accomplished 5 of the 10 things I wrote down. I use to get down on myself and think of what I didn’t do. But what I did do is far greater and well worth feeling proud and accomplished.
I want to say to you, you are doing amazing!! Write down your accomplishments, keep a record and thank God for the small victories. Just because a major life event did not happen in your life does not mean nothing happened for you. Live up to God’s standard. Go into the New Year knowing where you need to go. Write down your goals. For me I write personal goals, spiritual goals and physical ones. Do what works for you, be realistic and give yourself praise!