Why I Became Brave Enough to Start This Journey

Fear, What is It?

noun\ ˈfir  \

fear

(Entry 1 of 2) 1a: an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger b(1): an instance of this emotion (2): a state marked by this emotion

I always have been crippled by fear for as long as I can remember. Quite frankly, I can’t tell you how many times I held myself back from something that I desired to do. All because I was afraid of the outcome. I had this extreme fear of the unknown, of separation and of loneliness. I dreaded every day of Kindergarten at 5 years old. That’s how young I remember fear entering my life. 5 years old. 5 years old.

F E A R

an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger

Merriam-Webster Dictionary

Now 20 some years later my son is 5 years old. And I have continually been praying over him. Praying that he would not deal with fear like I did and sometimes still do. That he would be resilient and not afraid of change, or new things, or the unknown. I have been blessed to see that what I struggled with he does not. In my most anxious and fear filled season of my life, he grounded me. Watching him go about our everyday life full of new things and change did not affect him. My 5 year old taught me how to be resilient. He showed me the character I needed to take on. Yet still in my 30’s I was resistant.

I am thankful to see my prayers being answered for my 5 year old. So why don’t I pray for myself how I do for him? I have always let fear win in my life. I am constantly overthinking. Weighing the failure versus success. Yet, I had the answer to help me overcome this area, and I was blind to it. And yet, I didn’t use it even though I knew I was missing a sense of purpose (read my bio). I knew that I was ignoring my God talents. Moreover God was still faithful to me in my success in this world.

Fear Becomes an Absolute

For two years, I knew God was wanting me to do something. To do more. It was such a heavy weight on me. I just didn’t know what that something was. What I did know was that I was too afraid to ask Him what I should do. I didn’t want to start something and fail. Fear of failure is my biggest fear. I would rather not try, then to try and not succeed. It sounds silly every time I say that, but that is my truth.

Then I realized that every moment of fear in my life has always been a choice. A choice for fear to become an absolute over the emotions inside me. To listen to the voices that say, “you can’t, you don’t know what you’re doing, no one will listen, no one will read, you don’t have enough experience“, etc. Even though I know I have God in my heart and God by my side, I didn’t trust him enough to help me (Deuteronomy 31:6). Fear became an illusion once I chose to let it be an absolute in my life.

I was reading to my then 4 year old last summer, The Good Dinosaur. Of course I had read it many times before. Except this time, the story of fear in the dinosaur Arlo, stuck with me. Arlo was afraid of almost everything. The fear he had, held him back. He struggled to find his place in his family. I couldn’t help but identify with his character. Arlo’s father tried to help him overcome some of his fears. His dad said, sometimes you gotta get through your fear to see the beauty on the other side. WOW!! I seriously, took a mental note. As soon as I could I got my journal and wrote this down.

Man, you guys that brought tears to my eyes. I had felt God telling me to start something. To start a blog for many years. I chose fear every time. All those thoughts of insecurity and overthinking became my absolute. Fear is made up of so many things. Anxiety, overthinking, assumptions, unknowns, failure etc. It consumes us in so many areas, that fear creates an illusion. Arlo, was living in an illusion that he would never be like the rest of his family. That he would never find his place.

How to Use Fear as Courage

When we become crippled with our thoughts, our perceptions in life, the what if’s, the anxieties, the overthinking etc. We allow these things to become our absolutes. And we don’t realize the effect it has on us. The story goes on to say, you can’t get rid of fear. But you can get through it. Huh. Fear never goes away. But we can take steps to move past it. To get to courage.

noun cour·​age | \ ˈkər-ij  , ˈkə-rij\

courage

: mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty

1. Replace your moment of fear with courage

We can’t step into courage without fear. Think about that. Fear is the opposite of courage. We should not spend our time overthinking all the things that could happen. In order to take our moment of courage we must be okay with what we cannot control. We must do the work and God will see us to the finish 1 Chronicles 28:20.

2. Grow the seed of fear into courage

Fear doesn’t go away. But we can get through it and grow through it. We have to use fear as our motivator. As our water to the root of our courage. We have to trust the process of courage to overcome the fear. In our moments of fear we have to believe that God is there with us. That He is holding our hand to move past the fear. So instead of anticipating fear. Anticipate the outcome from your courage. Use it as the water to your courage in whatever moment you need it. Isaiah 41:1

We have to use fear as our water

to the root of our courage.

3. Be fearless to fear

God created us to be strong. To have courage. We are called to be fearless. To know Him and to speak His truth. So next time you are feeling fear in whatever your situation is. Look into the mirror (full length preferred). With hands on your hips in superman pose and say out loud your truths. I am strong and courageous. I do not have a spirit of fear. Perfect love casts out all fear, etc. There are lots of scripture to help you become fearless. Here are a few.

To be fearless we sometimes have to be foolish. When I say put your hands on your hips in a superman pose, chest out, and speaking truth. I am talking Grey’s Anatomy Amelia Shepard style. Right before her surgeries she takes a moment, stands in a super hero pose and allows her abilities to be empowered. This will prepare your mind to trust in your God ordained absolute truths. We must be fearless to gain our courage.

My Bravery Journey

I had to decide fear was no longer going to encourage me to overthink, over analyze and anticipate the things that could go wrong. The control I need to make sure I don’t fail had to go. And during this whole time I was praying for Lincoln to be able to face his fears; gathering scripture and praying it over him each day, I forgot I needed it too. Fear was such a normal feeling for me I didn’t realize that it had over taken me. So I started applying the scriptures and the prayer I had for Lincoln for myself.

My perspective shifted. My attitude changed. I was no longer making lists of the things that could go wrong. Instead I was making lists of what could go right. I decided that learning comes from my failures. My A-Type personality has a hard time understanding that failure is okay. It is no easy journey for me. My natural tendency is to think of the negative before the positive.

Interesting how fear and courage go together, right? We will never know the courage we have unless we are faced with a fear, a difficulty or danger of some sort. Above all, I finally understood that it wasn’t me that needed to save myself from the fear, it was God. After 30 some years. He wanted me to rely on him. To take hold of his promises and be the bold and courageous women He designed me to be. So here we are, Watered & Rooted was created. And I encourage you to use fear as the root to your courage. As a result, you will see your beauty on the other side.

Much Love,

Joy