Happy Mother’s Day to all of you.
Mother’s Day. Where moms get honored and celebrated for all they do. For the sacrifices they make each day for the betterment of their family. It is a day dedicated specifically for moms. But I say it’s a day for all women. I say this because each of us has had an opportunity for motherhood. Somewhere now or in your future, there has or will be a young lady that will look to you as a mother figure. Mother’s are influencers, women are influencers. Women shape the future of the next generation.
In any given stage of our lives, there has probably been a woman other than the one that birthed you who helped you in some area in your life. Someone who led you in your spiritual growth. A mentor, a leader, even a friend that has shaped you. There have been many women in my life have helped me walk through life spiritually, mentally, physically and in my motherhood journey.
If you don’t have women around you to help grow and feed you in areas of your life where you feel empty. I encourage you to find them. Don’t worry you might be a burden or not worthy enough. Because it simply is not true. But in case you don’t have someone, I invited a few women to share advice about their motherhood journey. Remember we are not alone in this journey. Other’s have and are experiencing the same hardships as you.
To the Working Mom…
The longer I am a mom and the older I get, the more complex my role as a woman in this world is. If you’re a girl from my generation, we so badly want to have it all and have it all together. As a young girl, I wanted my hand in so many things. I wanted to be as pretty as the other girls. But still able to participate in any sport or competition my older brothers took part in. I wanted to do well in school. Be the best volunteer. Be a part of all the social activities so I wouldn’t feel left out.
The FOMO (fear of missing out) in me has always been strong. From an early age, I’ve wanted to wear a lot of hats, and all at once. A great student, a great athlete, a great church member, a great friend, a great girlfriend, etc. And from a young age, I learned how stressful and impossible that can be.
Watching my mother juggle a full-time career as a nurse. Get her Master’s degree. Start a business. And still somehow participated in the activities of four children. This is the main reason I think I’m able to do what I do now. She made it look easy, but I know she lost it and broke down sometimes.
As a new mom seven years ago, I tried to make that possible. I really hit some lows with my self-esteem. I couldn’t be the stay-at-home mom I wanted. Or the nurse who stayed late. That picked up shifts when the unit needed extra or went out with everyone after work to bond. I couldn’t volunteer on the teams I had a heart for at church in the same way. Because hosting one Bible study meant the only time I did have with my family was lost.
I felt spread so thin. And I’m not even mentioning how hard it was to stay physically or financially in shape. There was an, in over my head moment. I couldn’t just quit as if it was my high school soccer team to free up some time. I had a family depending on me. In one year I fully believe I matured more than in any other year of my life. And it was 100% because of the Holy Spirit. I humbled myself so God could finally be allowed to have His way. Less of me and more of Him was the answer.
Giving up control was and still isn’t easy. It was a habit for me and a way of life. But God opened my eyes and softened my heart to remove the need of being in control. My advice as a working mom, to you, would be to pray for this softening too. Maybe your husband prepares the bottle differently than the perfect five-step-process you have. As long as it’s not harming anyone, let him do it his way. You’ll not only empower your husband as a caring father, your kids will probably benefit from it too. we’ve got to let the control go. Let the house be a little dirty. What I pray for you is that you see the priorities the way God sees them. And embrace the imperfect. Progress is more important than perfection.
I’m thankful I know now that it doesn’t all HAVE to get done perfectly. I can ask for help from my wonderful husband, family, and friends. Letting go of perfection and control allows others, most importantly God to love and help you. Let Him bless you, let others bless you and know that at some season in your life you may need to help another young, working mom yourself. I’m sure there will be one or two in your church or family who need it! (Wink)
To the Mom of Boys…
We all want well-behaved kids who sleep through the night, eat well, and get along with their siblings. I’ll be the first one to admit that I want answers on how to make this dream a reality. When I see these characteristics evident in a child, I find myself looking for their mom to ask the question, how did they become such great____? We want answers. Before we know it, we start to rely on other people’s advice and opinions to help raise our children.
There is nothing wrong with asking for advice or utilizing resources. In fact, Proverbs says that fools despise wisdom and instruction. But the most important thing I have learned in this parenting journey so
Remember, God instructed Samson’s parents not to shave his head. He didn’t instruct every Hebrew parent to do this. God has a specific calling for each of our children and parenting might look a little different compared to those around you. He has called us to raise up strong men/women of God, sometimes in the most unconventional way. He is waiting at the door with arms open wide to sit and discuss parenting advice with you. You don’t have to be on this parenting journey alone.
To the Mom of Girls…
Life is so much harder for girls now then it was when I was younger. Young girls are getting bombarded about, beauty, guys, college, jobs
- Help them find their identity in Christ and not man
- Help them express their uniqueness
- Teach them to fail and with failure comes success
- Listen to them more than talk to them
- Equip them for the world!!!
Motherhood is tough. Know that your tears of frustration and tears of joy are not just yours. As Anna mentioned, we so badly want to have it all and have it all together. Guess what no one has it all together. We’re really good at looking good on the outside. But on the inside we’re hurting, we’re tired, and we want the answers. Take what these wise women have said and apply it to your life where you can. God places people all around you to help you in this journey of motherhood, of mentoring, and of leading. We are equipping the next generation. So trust in your instincts and let God be the one to direct your path.
P.S. You are doing AMAZING!!