Is social media feeding your spirit man, or are you comparing yourself with the rest of the world? Man, ya’ll if only I took to this advice so much sooner in my life. I still work on this daily. The life we live with social media makes it ten times harder to not compare. Everywhere around us we see, we want, we desire, we compare. And as we scroll or troll whatever you’re into 🤷♀️ 😉, we start feeling all the feels of admiration, jealousy, hatred, envy, anger and then we spiral down a path our minds don’t need to go to.
For those who may not know exactly what ‘trolling‘ is (cause I thought I did, until I googled it, 😂); according to Urban Dictionary trolling is someone making a deliberate act of making random unsolicited and/or controversial comments on internet forums with the intent to provoke an emotional reaction. I will also add, that trolling is comparing through our insecurities. Which puts us in this place of deliberate acts of unsolicited thoughts provoking negative emotions. So maybe you don’t intentionally post your emotions, you may internally be saying to yourself, whoa she is not pretty; ugh really a new car?; that selfie is not working for her; they can’t afford that or deserve it; they must be having relationship problems; another perfect picture of her body 🙄. It’s the unsolicited thoughts that make it easy to compare. You may not even know you are, thus the trolling.
As we scroll through our accounts, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest etc, its exciting to connect with old friends, with people we haven’t talked to or seen in years. It’s nice to feel connected to others, even celebrity’s. We are relational people, and even being connected through technology makes us feel validated. I remember having My Space way back in the day (yup, I’m old). It was so exciting. You could customize your backgrounds, add a music playlist to your page, and by golly 😮 even ranked your top 8 friends. My Space changed our way of connection.
Stop Comparing
We have to be patient in the process and accepting of the season we are in. Social media was intended to connect with people. It should be a place for encouragement, for a virtual bond, for a place of security in who we are. And we should work to portray our true selves online, not the person we usually put on social media. I have been guilty of this many times. I’m picking up the area around me to make sure my house doesn’t look messy, fix my hair, have the perfect background, practice my kissy, ducky, pouty lip face 🤦♀️ (which by the way I am terrible at). Also, some of ya’ll are crazy good at taking selfies! I have tried many times. I can never get the angle right, I take a million pictures before I slightly feel satisfied with one, and to be honest I feel so awkward doing it. But yet we all are guilty of doing this. Taking a million pictures to find that perfect one. Using snapchat filters to hide all blemishes. Don’t get me wrong in many ways I am thankful for snapchat, lol. But let’s be conscious of why we are posting and what we are posting.
Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone’s highlight reel.
The connection social media has brought to me, has at times, been to a place of comparing. To troll with my unsolicited thoughts. While I enjoy it, I have had to give it up a time or two, or three because of the negative affect it has had on me. Even so, I have learned and now understand that we are all in different stages of life. In different seasons of change and growth. What is good for one person, may not be good for me, in my current season. And I needed to be okay with that. We should not have this preconceived notion every time we see someone with a win. You know why? Because we have no idea what season they just came out of to get that win.
Start Believing
With every moment we see everyone else #livingtheirbestlife. We have to start believing that what our success looks like will come to pass. Whatever ‘her‘ life looks like, it’s not that it’s better than yours, it’s just different. We all have a different story to tell. We will always only see part of the picture on social media. If we are constantly trying to fight for status, or for likes, or red hearts and for followers we will lose sight of who we are. How can anyone make sound judgement on ourselves or someone else if we only see part of a picture? We can’t be constantly battling with a perfection that social media portrays. That perfection we have made up in our heads.
Comparison is the thief of joy.
Theodore Roosevelt
We are here to be the light. To focus on Jesus and to be the messenger of His word, of His truth. What are we attracting by striving to be perfect? We should be rejoicing and encouraging those who have achieved such great things (Romans 12:15). We should support and follow them when they start something new. I’ll be honest, I have purposefully not followed someone or liked something because I had unsolicited thoughts toward what they were doing or who they were. Silly and ridiculous, I know (and I am so sorry for that and ashamed). But it’s true for so many of us. The comparing doesn’t stop, unless we stop making it about us.
Nothing is ever about us, we just make it that way. We always have since Adam and Eve. Comparison breeds discontent. With that discontent we lose sight of who we are. We forget that we only need validation from God. Not the number of likes and followers we have, because really what do they matter? We need to start making it about God, and believing in what He says we are (go check out my post, The Struggle Within).
His story and the path He has you on, is perfect for you (Psalms 32:8). Yes, it might feel unfair when in comparison, but we are not comparing, right? And we have no idea the pain and the struggles those who seem perfect have gone through to be where they are today. Believe in who God says you are. Trust your season, have compassion for those who are hurting, and rejoice with those who are winning, encourage where you can. We need to stop comparing, so we can stop hurting. So stop trolling, keep scrolling, like, follow, share and love yourself and love on your connections 💖.
Lots of Love 🌱
Joy